Pantless, Sign-Waving, Grease-Stealing Home

I’ll be back in Oklahoma next week to provide some moral support to my dad, who is undergoing some much-needed surgery on his back. (Go Dad!)

In preparation for my trip, I checked out the hometown newspaper to see what’s up. The recent police calls tell me that not much has changed.

5:49 p.m. - Check Person. Headed toward corner liquor store, no pants on. Handled.

4:39 p.m. - Check Person. Walking in between lanes yelling at people holding signs that God will provide. Handled.

10:33 a.m. - Theft Report, Wendy’s. Lock busted off, someone stole grease, third time this happened in past six months. Report.

15 Responses to “Pantless, Sign-Waving, Grease-Stealing Home”


  1. 1 susetheslowknitta

    there’s no place like home!

  2. 2 jenny

    Sounds like an interesting place! :D
    All the best to your Dad xo

  3. 3 Leah

    There is no defense. At least O-town has character.

  4. 4 fillyjonk

    “Oh no! Me retirement grease!”

    (/Groundskeeper Willie)

  5. 5 Astrid

    Those are bold police officers, handling people with no pants on!

  6. 6 alex

    Watch yourself in that hotbed of criminal activity.

    (I’m living in Montana.)

  7. 7 Jen

    the police blotter is my FAVORITE section of my hometown newspaper. I’ve often fantasized about collecting these in a book or something. They always seem to start with “suspicious person.” funny

  8. 8 Kate

    I love these! I wonder what they are doing with all that grease? the police and court reports are all I ever need to read in my hometown newspaper! our current local paper also says something like ’suspect decamped in unknown direction’, like that is useful information!!

  9. 9 Katie

    Not just once, but three times!
    *hoots with laughter*

  10. 10 Bety

    Grease??!! What the heck, maybe they like the smell of french fries.

  11. 11 fillyjonk

    I’m guessing the grease thefts may be by someone who’s trying to homebrew biodiesel? I know people who have tried that (but they got their grease legally, by asking for it.)

  12. 12 Anna

    That was also my guess! I wonder if they asked politely first and were refused the grease. Strange either way.

  13. 13 braydensmom

    i came back to find the bat pattern and read about dad’s surgery! best wishes for you and yours! ;o)

  14. 14 knitterista

    Okay, well of course thats’ small town Owasso, I’m from Cushing. But, the City (Oklahoma City) where I am now, is way more sophisticated than that for sure. Did you grow up there?

  15. 15 Bev

    All my best to you and your dad.

    I love going back to my hometown (Kenmore, NY - just call it Buffalo) sheerly to read the police reports in the local paper. Recent items included drunk girls partying while doing laundry in the local laundromat and some random guy leaving packages of poop in milk boxes (yes, there is still milk delivery there).

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