I thought I was living in a decent apartment building, but upon receiving an e-memo from management today, I discovered that I’m actually living in my old freshman dorm.
Please take some time to acknowledge your surroundings, it may seem unusual that this memo needs to be distributed however we do find it necessary to do so.
We live in a building with a large community of residents living in the same structure. Please be sensitive to the fact that we are responsible for our actions and how our actions may affect others.
Please lets be considerate of the other families living here.
PLEASE DO NOT THROW OR DISCARD ANY OBJECTS OUT OF YOUR WINDOWS!
PLEASE DO NOT THROW OR DISCARD ANY OBJECTS OFF THE ROOF DECK OR TERRACES
PLEASE DO NOT DISCARD ANY OBJECTS OR TRASH IN FRONT OF OR BY THE ELEVATORS
PLEASE DO NOT LEAVE ANY OBJECTS OUTSIDE YOUR DOOR FOR OTHERS TO TRIP OVER
PLEASE DO NOT LEAVE ANY OBJECTS IN STAIRWELLS OR HALLWAYS FOR OTHERS TO TRIP OVER
PLEASE NO MINORS ALLOWED UNSUPERVISED ON ROOF DECKS OR TERRACES
PLEASE NO MINORS ALLOWED UNSUPERVISED IN HEALTH CLUB OR LOUNGES
PLEASE BE CONSIDERATE OF THE VOLUME OF YOUR ELECTRONIC EQUIPMENT
IF YOU HAVE A PET PLEASE CURB YOUR PET AND PICK UP AFTER YOUR PET
PLEASE NO PETS ALLOWED ON ROOF DECKS OR TERRACES
PLEASE NO PETS IN HEALTH CLUB OR LOUNGES
THESE ARE JUST BASICS
Thank you for your cooperation and consideration
These are just basics? I’d hate to learn what else my seemingly polite neighbors have been up to when I’m not looking. Or, rather, I’d love to learn.