Pantless, Sign-Waving, Grease-Stealing Home

I’ll be back in Oklahoma next week to provide some moral support to my dad, who is undergoing some much-needed surgery on his back. (Go Dad!)

In preparation for my trip, I checked out the hometown newspaper to see what’s up. The recent police calls tell me that not much has changed.

5:49 p.m. – Check Person. Headed toward corner liquor store, no pants on. Handled.

4:39 p.m. – Check Person. Walking in between lanes yelling at people holding signs that God will provide. Handled.

10:33 a.m. – Theft Report, Wendy’s. Lock busted off, someone stole grease, third time this happened in past six months. Report.

15 thoughts on “Pantless, Sign-Waving, Grease-Stealing Home

  1. the police blotter is my FAVORITE section of my hometown newspaper. I’ve often fantasized about collecting these in a book or something. They always seem to start with “suspicious person.” funny

  2. I love these! I wonder what they are doing with all that grease? the police and court reports are all I ever need to read in my hometown newspaper! our current local paper also says something like ‘suspect decamped in unknown direction’, like that is useful information!!

  3. I’m guessing the grease thefts may be by someone who’s trying to homebrew biodiesel? I know people who have tried that (but they got their grease legally, by asking for it.)

  4. That was also my guess! I wonder if they asked politely first and were refused the grease. Strange either way.

  5. Okay, well of course thats’ small town Owasso, I’m from Cushing. But, the City (Oklahoma City) where I am now, is way more sophisticated than that for sure. Did you grow up there?

  6. All my best to you and your dad.

    I love going back to my hometown (Kenmore, NY – just call it Buffalo) sheerly to read the police reports in the local paper. Recent items included drunk girls partying while doing laundry in the local laundromat and some random guy leaving packages of poop in milk boxes (yes, there is still milk delivery there).

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